Can tshuva change nature?

December 29, 2018 at 9:26 PM
Questions and AnswersCategory: TeshuvahCan tshuva change nature?
L. T asked 1 year ago

I became a baalas tshuva early in my life. But i still had time to do things that were very foolish.
At age 18 i left everything, gave my life to Hashem and became religous in Jerusalem.
I couldnt bring myself to tell my prospective shiduch of this reality, of the fact that i did all those mistakes, i was very vey ashamed of admiting to it, specially when i heard that this boy, i was going to go out with became realigious very early and didnt have experiences.
We met each other and we were soon enganged,
I carry a big pain, from guilt, from all the things i did and also for not admiting to it, i am afraid I shouldnt be married to my husband and that Hashem is very mad at me.
The man I married is ger tzedek that comes from a special family of frum jews and leviim, very early he understood that this world has to have a purpose. and he found on his greatgrandfather Avraham tzemach a pillar and he came back to truth judaism. he is kind and very Yras shomaym.
But i can never really enjoy life because of this sense of guilt and pain.
Does tshuva change nature?
I want to fix  and free myself from this web, i want to build a jewish home with truth but how can i admit to all those mistakes, how can i forget?
please help me.

1 Answers
Rabbi Yosef Karpman answered 1 year ago

Although there isn’t a requirement to tell people your past mistakes,  it could help  unburden your heart.
Now there is always a way to change your situation if you will it.  Right now the best place to be is honest with your family but not overly judgemental with yourself.
If you find a way to true inner peace then group Shalom bayit will follow.
Best Wishes
R.Yosef Karpman